Thoughts for a Saturday afternoon.

It's a cold and windy afternoon in late September, which sounds like a good opening line for a short story that I think I'll write when I'm done with this. I digress, as I said, it's a cold and windy afternoon in late September and I'm feeling contemplative so I'm going to put what I have just written in my journal into this blog post.

I think that many years ago my subconscious mind decided that I was not worthy of being happy and fulfilled so it contrived to install a self-sabotage switch into my mind.

This has meant that over the years whenever I have had the opportunity to make my life better and myself happier I manage to bugger it up somehow.

There are too many examples for me to go into here, suffice to say that whenever there is an opportunity to balls up a positive situation your correspondent will grasp it, achieve the said balls up, shrug his shoulders and shuffle away feeling a bit sad but telling himself that whatever it was just wasn't meant to be.

You've got to laugh really at how absurd such a way of going through life is.

Now what I hope to achieve by writing down these thoughts is, even at this relatively late stage in my existence, to disable the self-sabotage switch, stop being Eeyore and welcome happiness when it calls rather than slamming the door in its face then wondering where it went.

And now I've got that off my chest I'm away to write that short story which begins with 'it's a cold and windy afternoon in late September'.

TTFN, Peace and love x